All I Have

When we were together
you gave me many things
momentoes of times spent together
letters and pictures
items just so I would remember you
and most of all the memories

But now you're gone
and all our times together too
When you left I took everything you ever gave me
the momentoes
the letters and pictures
the memories
all I had planned to give you
everything
I took it all and put it in a small box
and hid it away never to open again

I thought this would help me
get over the pain of heartbreak
help me to move on
and it did but only a little

Soon though I realized
that for me to have closure
I couldn't just hide everything away
as if none of it mattered
for all of it did
everything changed my life
and to hide myself from the truth
was not the solution
To come to peace with myself
I had to accept what had happened

And so slowly I brought it out
I took that small box of "you"
and opened it up
and slowly I took things out of it
I started accepting what had happened
and why it was over

I also started forgiving
forgiving you all the times you hurt me
forgiving myself for all the times I hurt you
forgiving the world for all the tough times
   we went through
and forgiving life for taking us apart

And now I spend a part of each day
thinking about you and me
remembering the good times
remembering the bad times
remembering the first time we met
remembering when and why we left
remembering those times I was thinking of you
like now
I know I won't do this forever
I know someday I will stop
someday when I am at peace
with you being gone from my life
Saying goodbye was probably
the hardest thing we've ever done
Sometimes I wonder
if it was for the best

I think of what would happen
if you ever came back up to me
I wonder if I will ever see you again
and if we would talk or ignore each other
More and more I wonder if
you ever think of me
if you remember the good times and bad times
if you are living as strong as before
and hope I helped you grow as you have helped me

I know someday I'll stop thinking of you
every day I live
but I don't know if I'll ever stop missing you
for you have been a part of my life
and I know I'll never forget that

The pain is leaving now
the healing has begun
no more do I hate it all
though the tears still come
And the tears tell of healing
of hope and love
of saying the sorry
I never did say
They tell of happy times gone
and sad times remembered
they tell of the end of you and me
and strength to live and love again

When we were together
you gave me many things
Today I cherish them all
and today I let them go